What a Racket

The Mafia’s got nothing on the little operation Girl Scouts run this time of year: selling Girl Scout cookies. Sure, it’s for a good cause, even if each box costs $4 (when was the last time you paid $4 for a box of cookies?). You may say to yourself that by buying these cookies I am helping these girls attain their goals. But you are deluding yourself, my friend. The only reason I buy Girl Scout cookies year after year is because I am seriously addicted to them. Be they Samoas, Thin Mints, All Abouts, or Tagalongs, I heart these cookies. I am also convinced that they have some sort of addictive chemicals mixed into their ingredients – how else can you explain cravings for Thin Mints that can never be fully satiated unless you get a box of Girl Scout Thin Mint cookies? I kid, of course, but I seriously love these cookies. This love, coupled with them being available only for a limited time, means that I usually eat my weight in cookies at this time of year. They should seriously consider changing the name of All Abouts to All About Me Getting Fat. Or how about Samoas to Samoa: The Size of Your Ass?